Pro tip 3 salary negotiation mistakes people make

Pro tip 3 salary negotiation mistakes people makePro tip 3 salary negotiation mistakes people makeNegotiation is like the ugly stepsister of networking - its something we need to know how to do, yet its not something we are ever taught in school.But unlike networking, making a big no-no during a salary negotiation wont just cost you a relationship, it may result in thousands of dollars being left on the table.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moraSo what exactly do you need to know when it comes to making the big ask? Here are the top three things to avoid doing in your next negotiation.1) Getting defensiveLets say you have taken on mora responsibilities and put in way more overtime than your peers this past year. However, during your performance review, your boss informs you that you will only be getting the standard 3 percent raise due to budget constraints.In the heat of the momen t, your heart rate will naturally jump through the roof in frustration.What to do insteadInstead of snapping back with how unfair this is, take a nice deep breath and allow for silence. Slowing the conversation down rather than jumping into a response will create space for you to be thoughtful in your answer rather than reactive.2) Giving in too quicklyNow that youve given yourself a moment to breathe, you can start to prepare your response.While its natural to worry what will happen if you ask for more, dont let fear of rejection keep you from getting what you deserve.Im here to tell you that negotiation is a normal and expected part of working. While your boss may secretly be hoping you dont push back, they wont become offended when you do (and if they do, it may be an important red flag to take note of).What to do insteadInstead of quickly giving in, restate your value and get their buy-in. For example, I understand that constraints in the budget must be difficult. However, the a mount of hours and effort I have been putting in for the company goes well beyond the standard expectations and performance, wouldnt you say?3) Not anchoring high enoughLastly, when discussing pay, its natural to worry that if you go too high you will either offend the other party, lose the position, or come across as greedy.However, you shouldnt lower your expectations in order to come across as more agreeable. By starting with a safer sounding number you are doing the work for them, and negotiating against yourself before the conversation has even begun.What to do insteadFocus on the facts and then aim high.Do your research and get clear on a salary range that is both fair and reasonable. Next, instead of lowering your standards in order to come across as more agreeable, start at the top of the range.For the example above, if a 3-8 percent raise is reasonable, dont lower your expectations to a safer sounding 5 percent. Instead, anchor high and say, I was really hoping that given t he results Ive produced in the past year, that I would get at least an 8 percent increase. Do you think thats something we could work toward?Interestingly enough, by anchoring higher, you actually give your boss the psychological feeling that they just got a deal. Let them feel the sweet pleasure of a deal, while you allow yourself the sweet reward of a higher paycheckNegotiating doesnt have to be scary or hard. No one will advocate for you in the same way you can advocate for yourself. You are in control of your financial well-being, and you know the value that you create. Now, share it with the world And most importantly, share it with your boss when you ask for that next raise. This awkward and uncomfortable situation will only last a few minutes, and it may result in thousands more dollars in your bank account.Kathlyn Hart is a financial empowerment coach and a motivational speaker who supports ambitious women earn more. Her salary negotiation boot camp Be Brave Get Paid, which teaches women how to confidently own their worth and ask for more, has helped women increase their income by an average of $15,000. In addition, she is the host of The Kathlyn Hart Show, where she interviews entrepreneurial women about their journey from dreaming to doing.This article first appeared on Create + Cultivate.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people